I may have used Bob’s shop a couple of months ago. I prearranged my own funeral, bought a lot, then dealt with the memorial stone. I had selected a picture I took more than forty years ago of my motorcycle high in the Colorado Rockies and chosen an inscription, The road goes ever on and on …, from Tolkien. I wanted the picture to cover the top half of the stone, the epitaph immediately below it, my name below that, and finally my birth date and a blank spot for my heath.
The first lay-up they sent for my approval had my name at the top, a very small picture and epitaph ……….. and the dates of my birth and death.
A lot of societies don’t think of commemoration of someone’s death as a sad situation, but something to rejoice in. They stand or sit around and tell happy stories of the departed’s life, and get off their faces, and sing the songs that the loved one liked. I rather like that idea. Of course Shakespeare wanted his characters (in Richard II) to “sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings”; not that there’re too many monarchs around to tell stories about, nowadays. At least, not dead ’uns.
There was a shop on the south side of Chicago,had a large sign painted on the side of the building-“B4 you go see Elmo. Tombstones made while you wait.” Had to laugh every time I saw it!
I can think of a couple ad campaigns on television that might have used Bob as a consultant. It pays to get someone who really knows marketing and advertising.
The last funeral I went to was fun. She was a psychotic emotional and physical torturer and mutilator of her older son. When they asked him to speak he got up and played “Ding Dong the Witch is dead.” They let me play it all the way to the end.
I would really like to be cast in resin and buried. At some point if we survive, I will be dug up and everyone will assume I must have been somebody . Stories will be told, papers will be written . One last practical joke.
pepper zeppelins about 1 year ago
Business neighbor to Bob, concerning his failure to drum up business:
“You reap’d what, you sew-and sew?!”
Sanspareil about 1 year ago
He was trying to emulate Death-Santis!
Botulism Bob about 1 year ago
Would he allow customers to try before they buy……
Kveldulf about 1 year ago
I may have used Bob’s shop a couple of months ago. I prearranged my own funeral, bought a lot, then dealt with the memorial stone. I had selected a picture I took more than forty years ago of my motorcycle high in the Colorado Rockies and chosen an inscription, The road goes ever on and on …, from Tolkien. I wanted the picture to cover the top half of the stone, the epitaph immediately below it, my name below that, and finally my birth date and a blank spot for my heath.
The first lay-up they sent for my approval had my name at the top, a very small picture and epitaph ……….. and the dates of my birth and death.
YourFriendlyNeighborhoodAmoeba about 1 year ago
He said one word to me, and that was “Dead”.
einarbt about 1 year ago
I suspect this might actually be hit.
keenanthelibrarian about 1 year ago
A lot of societies don’t think of commemoration of someone’s death as a sad situation, but something to rejoice in. They stand or sit around and tell happy stories of the departed’s life, and get off their faces, and sing the songs that the loved one liked. I rather like that idea. Of course Shakespeare wanted his characters (in Richard II) to “sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings”; not that there’re too many monarchs around to tell stories about, nowadays. At least, not dead ’uns.
Say What? Premium Member about 1 year ago
Two words to help your business, Bob: Wiley Bears. They have ways of bringing you clientele.
Dorothy Sieradzki Premium Member about 1 year ago
Nobody reads anymore.
rmercer Premium Member about 1 year ago
The Grin Reaper?
mfrasca about 1 year ago
Soon to be picketed by Reverend Billy and his Church of Stop Shopping.
potfarmer about 1 year ago
I would Use them
Searsportguy about 1 year ago
It could be a black Friday sale.
Linguist about 1 year ago
“… put the fun back in funerals.”
There’s a reason we Irishmen cry at weddings but celebrate at wakes. We know when yer man’s better off.
sprink56 about 1 year ago
There was a shop on the south side of Chicago,had a large sign painted on the side of the building-“B4 you go see Elmo. Tombstones made while you wait.” Had to laugh every time I saw it!
sandpiper about 1 year ago
Sign on a mortuary grave prep truck Take your time. We can wait.
Is like a melody Premium Member about 1 year ago
Any ideas how to put the FUN in a funeral? Just asking.
ladykat about 1 year ago
Not a good sign, Bob!
Count Olaf Premium Member about 1 year ago
Come in! We know you’re dying to meet us.
poppacapsmokeblower about 1 year ago
“Well, that’s the last thing I’ll need.” — not sure who said it.
WickWire64 about 1 year ago
“CAN… YOU… DIGGGGGG IT!”
Steverino Premium Member about 1 year ago
I knew someone who knew the exact day and hour of his death.
A judge told him.
braindead Premium Member about 1 year ago
Have your funeral while you’re still young enough to enjoy it.
mistercatworks about 1 year ago
He forgot the advertising has to appeal to the living.
The Lone Panda & Tonto about 1 year ago
Genius Idea! I’m going to have a few dozen ’’Let’s put the FUN back in Funerals’’ tee shirts made up and hand them out at my funeral.
Well, not actually hand them out, but, there’ll be a pile at the door, grab your size.
You’ll know what room I’m in, it’s the one with the Zydeco band.
Packratjohn Premium Member about 1 year ago
Several days later Bob had an inspiration; DIY Cremation kits.
rlaker22j about 1 year ago
guess work is over
Kawasaki Cat about 1 year ago
Abra cadaver Funeral home. We make your dead ones disappear!
LawrenceS about 1 year ago
I can think of a couple ad campaigns on television that might have used Bob as a consultant. It pays to get someone who really knows marketing and advertising.
kathleenhicks62 about 1 year ago
Kinda gross here. . . .
Teto85 Premium Member about 1 year ago
The last funeral I went to was fun. She was a psychotic emotional and physical torturer and mutilator of her older son. When they asked him to speak he got up and played “Ding Dong the Witch is dead.” They let me play it all the way to the end.
RWill about 1 year ago
His best customer is Liō.
willie_mctell about 1 year ago
BOGO promotions may have similar problems.
leemorse9777 about 1 year ago
I would really like to be cast in resin and buried. At some point if we survive, I will be dug up and everyone will assume I must have been somebody . Stories will be told, papers will be written . One last practical joke.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] about 1 year ago
Death is a reaper not sower. Psychopomp to take your soul to the Underworld mon.
bakana about 1 year ago
Actually, I can see a few people with a sense of humor going for it.