Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for March 03, 2020

Dry goods section?

After the Virus panic?

“Costco – where house?”

I think some of them are converted airplane hangers!!

Should be Ikea instead. That’s one place where you can lose yourself…and your soul. #Dantes9thCircle

Still closer to the store than I’ve seen some leave their carts.

At least they have the sample ladies to provide food and smoothies.

We have a local chain of grocery stores (Harris Teeter) one of them is so big, it takes up a quarter of a shopping center. We call it the Taj Mah-Teeter. It think it covers several zip codes and two time zones. I’ve seen clerks returning carts and there is snow on them … in July.

In a normal store, my wife and I play hide and seek. She will ask me to pick up such-and-such and while I am away she moves off and hides in another aisle. I have to find her. She compounds the task by double-backing and crossing her path. In other words, I cannot eliminate an aisle just because we’ve been there before. Her path best resembles that of a common house fly.

Every now and then as we are playing and employee will ask me, “Can I help you find something?” I respond, “Female, Caucasian, about 6 foot tall, 60-ish, gray hair, answers to the name, Maureen,”

At the Taj, we have to rely on cell phones and GPS to find each other. Without them, the game could go on for days. I have considered having her picture put on the side of a milk carton.

OK guys, how many of you who shop with your spouse wind up playing this game?

Next up: How to survive a trip to a women’s dress shop or store where infant or children’s clothing is sold. (Hint: challenge you wife not to use the words, “cute” or “adorable” especially when handling a little girl’s dress).

IDK…. For their own protection, seems the grocery store clerks need to wear gloves…Costco employees all had gloves on….but it’s in the air……Oy

Be sure to pick up some Kirkland brand sunscreen…

Wouldn’t a Bar-B-Que chicken taste good right now?

“I see a pallet of bottled water just over the hill……nope, mirage.”

But you wouldn’t be so thirsty if you hadn’t eaten that giant plastic jar of cheese balls you found a few miles back…

There is a Target store in one of the DC suburbs that is so large it is on two floors. I was fascinated by the escalator mechanism to carry your cart to the next floor. No, it doesn’t take a lot to entertain me at times.

It’s not realistic, the cart’s not taking up a parking spot.

Attention KMart shoppers…