Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 10, 2013

OK, then I will Jim you for watching you watching me! Don’t mess with me, chump!

No, I wouldn’t hurt him, but I would kick his cup into Traffic…Steve Winwood would understand…..

BTW, you really can’t afford to say “Have a nice day” to him…..

On the other hand, if a street performer makes you stop, you owe them a dollar.

Heard a story once about a lawyer billing for “my time walking over to talk to you only to find out it wasn’t you.”

Don’t meet their eyes. It is a billable consultation.

Hmmm!

1-800-VULTURE

“Time ain’t money when all you got is time”

I had a lawyer—and I’m not making this up—include “attempt to make a phone call” on his bill.

Lawyers are like nukes…oh, forget it. You people should know the punch line by now.

I am not making this up – a local lawyer was called out for billing the city for twenty-four hours in one day. When asked how he managed this, he said that he had dreamed about the case.

how about we send all unemployed lawyers to syria? maybe there, they can stop the war, or become cannon fodder.

Good old Bill S. via Dick the Butcher had the right idea.

All the lawyers I know would charge their own Mothers for the air around them if they could get away with it!

If there were no lawyers, nobody would need one.

What do you call all the lawyers on the planet at the bottom of the ocean?

Social Progress!

Well, it was either that or “A waste of perfectly good chum for fish food!”…

Or while using up all of your phone time

Q) Do you know the difference between a dead cat in the street and a dead lawyer in the street?A) There are skid marks in front of the cat.

“That lawyer is such a piece of work. I hope he gets disbarred.”

He won, didn’t he?