Garfield by Jim Davis for October 23, 1998

I know how you can. First of all, Garfield should wiggle his limbs in a way like he’s jogging for 5 hours strait, so his exprechulim skelitums get 29x stronger, but for his core Garfield must do push-ups for 2 1/2 minutes so his exprechulim skelitums get 78x stronger. This is because his limbs affected his thugagius hringx. Then, Garfield would be 46.30% less lazy, as he was alREADY 93.7% lazy, making him industrious enough to pick up the remote, but he wouldn’t be SMART enough to do it. Meaning Garfield must be taught from the science book 2.1 inches into the couch, and he has an arm length of a foot, and his arm is half a foot and 3 inches away from the book, so this is PERFECT for him! But Garfield has no memory of this book, so he must watch an ad on the TV 46 times about memory testing so Garfield can remember the book. He takes the book and reads for 32 seconds until his intelligence level rises .2%. Now Garfield is robust, smart, AND industrious enough to grab the remote! :D But hey, that’s JUST a theory, a COMIC theory!