Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 12, 2018

Ooh. Kinky.

Maybe it’s the ushanka hat but, in my mind, Vanessa Vonvip sounds like Ivanna Humpalot from the 2nd “Austin Powers” movie.

Whip it. Whip it good.

Did she say her name was, Vonvip or Vonwhip?

Oh I can’t wait for the big Cobra/Vonvip showdown! I hope it happens during Ben’s weekly Ladies-Jello-Wrestling night!

Looks like Vanessa is a real pain in the rear.

Ka-rolling, rolling, rolling…. Keep that whip ka-rolling… ‘til he’s red and swollen, Rawhiiiiiiide!

I tell ya, I ain’t tripping! She gave him such a whipping! Man, she whacked it right across his big backsi-i-ide.

Rather than risk ka-jailing, she’ll have that boy ka-wailing. He will not be sitting down for quite a stride…

Whip him hard, beat him down, make it hurt, break him in, show that boy who’s the boss. Rawhide.

Switch the hands, start again, send the pain, whip him goooooood….. RAWHIIIIIIIIIDE!

KA-YOW!!!