Pickles by Brian Crane for December 15, 2017

when looking at my father’s Costco card’s photo ID, I never thought of him looking like a zombie

All the Costco card photos I have ever seen feature people who look like potatoes.

Wait until you see Earl by moonlight, at which time the picture on his card looks like Pierce Brosnan.

Ours don’t have pictures. I guess they stoped that several years ago. Or maybe special peel get it.

All the Costco cards here have pictures…

When I got my first one, black and white, and badly focused, with a thin blank streak across it that made it look a bit like I had a bone through my nose, I hated it.

My face looked chubby, and my hair needed combing.

At first they replaced the cards every few renewals…. but they just sent them in the mail…

with the same picture, electronically reproduced, so the resolution is even worse.

Now, for some reason, they don’t even replace the card…

30 years of Costco this year, over half with the same plastic card, and my out-of-focus back and white photo is rubbing off.

At my last renewal, the woman at the counter said the pictures are in color now, and look much better.

She asked whether I’d like a new card.

I said “Are you _crazy??!”_ … and she looked puzzled.

So I told her no new picture could ever look better than the one I now love.

No lighting or focus or color could be as flattering as 30 years off my age,

I look less like a zombie on the executive card than I did on the regular card

I “resemble” that remark!

The people who take those Costco, Sam’s Club, and ( down here ), Mi Comisariato cards, all go to the special school… The Academy for Ugly Picture Production – Sponsored by, your fiendly ( er…friendly ) and efficient, State Motor Vehicle Dept.

They got their cameras from the DMV.

Haha. Lunatic filter my foot!

xxx

I like how Earl is seen many times reading a newspaper. Fewer people do so every year

My driver’s license photo, from what, 10 years ago makes me look 80. I was 50 at the time.Zombie indeed.

This reminded me of when I was a child and Sam’s Club first opened. Tons of people were joining, including my Grandmother, so they were quickly snapping the photo and moving the line for the IDs. My Grandmother stood on the line and went to check her watch when Click the photo was taken and the woman said, “Please go to your right and wait for your ID.” My GM said, “Wait, I was looking down-” and the woman said, “Ma’am, please keep the line moving!” So she did. She gets the ID and there she is…looking down at her watch! Haha! She had it for years.