Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for April 06, 2017

One long gone kitty used to employ the light brushing with the whiskers tactic; which is dangerous, because my subconscious associates that with bugs crawling on me.

LOL! The “I mustache you to get up” one would get me up!

Four"sitting on your face"

A light tap on the nose using very sharp nails. Or, any of the above.

the bladder pounce

We have one who is a licker. She’ll lick your hair or nose and presto you’re awake.

The cats and waking theme made me recall something I first read almost 40 years ago. It’s an early passage in Annie Dillard’s Pulitzer Prize winning “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.” The book is her account of her encounters with the natural world in Virginia’s Blue Ridge Valley, encounters that are violent, mysterious, deadly, beautiful, and ultimately spiritual, nearly transcendent. She and her book are in the line of descent from Thoreau’s “Walden, Life in the Woods.” But here’s the relevant part…. “I used to have a cat, an old fighting tom, who would jump through the open window by my bed in the middle of the night and land on my chest. I’d half-awaken. He’d stick his skull under my nose and purr, stinking of urine and blood. Some nights he kneaded my bare chest with his front paws, powerfully, arching his back, as if sharpening his claws, or pummeling a mother for milk. And some mornings I’d wake in daylight to find my body covered with paw prints in blood; I looked as though I’d been painted with roses”

Love seeing Pucky’s boxing prowess again! Mustache you to get up makes me giggle!!

Four, “Find the sensitive body parts on the human – bonus point for locating a full bladder”

Miscreant has learned that if he wants to get me up RIGHT NOW. He slides his paw all the way up next to my cpap mask, pulls and lets go. That gets me up immediately. Little #%$@*^ it’s a good thing I have a sense of humor or he’d be a sail kitty.

I dunno, the hairball sounds work for me.

Mokume Gane mostly employs the head butt and cold wet nose approach, but sometimes she resorts to the old punch in the eyeball technique. She’s small – but evil.

Two of our cats, the Siameseses, have a simple tactic. Jump on the bed and make their way to my chest, and in their best voice say, “Feed me. Feed me noooouuuuuwwww.”

Cat under covers, cold wet nose and whiskers touched to sensitive human body parts….one wide awake human!!

My childhood Siamese’s favourite way to wake us was to lick our eyelids. That’s a guaranteed method!

Boxer – that will get him Pucky!! A couple of my cats favored the popular ‘claws in you lip’ method

My dearly departed Mozart would start with a up close whisker inspection of my face and head – nothing like whiskers in your ear to wake you up – followed by “light” tapping on the eyelids and if neither of those worked he would sit on my chest (20+ lb cat) with his chin resting on mine. He was a special needs kitty but he knew how to get his point across

My tabby Sofia has a more subtle method – she curls up on my pillow and purrs near my ear. If that doesn’t do it, the wet nose goes INTO the ear. Works like a charm.

All of these things are why some good friends of mine have a separate room for kitties to sleep in.

I love it

Tactic number six. CHOMP. Foxy has bitten me good morning many times.