Matt Bors for January 12, 2009

Transcript:

They were wronged by history...now we're setting things straight... NAAKP The National Association For The Advancement of Kennedy People (A.K.A. the Democratic Party) Man: Are you a descendant of the sacred Kennedy bloodline? If so, we want to put YOU in a government position you're completely unqualified for! Dear Leader Can you prove your heritage? The ONE DROP RULE entitles you to a host of benefits. $20,000 grant for college (or booze) PBS biopic (your name here) The King of Camelot Your very own sovereign tribal land! KENNEDY RESERVATION Trespassers will be shot from a grassy knoll At the NAAKP, we believe ALL Kennedys should get a fair shot at dynastic privilege. Man: Yesterday I was a fry cook, today I'm doing "Meet The Press." JFK's great-great-grand-half nephew Apply for assistance today while baby boomers still worship your family!