Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 24, 2018

People still send emails?

It’s true, Pig. I’ll never forgive you for that.

I accidently sent a text for my wife( in reply: to did you recieve my picture?) “send it to my email” . oh man, she was pissed. she doesn’t want anything being sent to her email.

I am deeply offended, PIG, by what I think you actually mean by that.

Oh no; not the the!

I save all my replies until I have a (rare) drunken night and all my insecurities gang up on me to produce faux resentful imaginary insults from my friends, then blast them mercilessly for being the faithless scum that they are. Then I have to avoid going online with my real identity for a few weeks to avoid their completely unreasonable replies. Keeps my mailing list under control as well.

He used a boring font!

It all depends on how you define “is”.

Have you considered the possibility that your email could’ve been lost amidst the large deluge of spam, pig? Also, have you considered the possibility that the recipient could be an absolute jerk?

Go to bed, Pig

what the!!!!

what the!!!!

E-Flu can be serious, have you had your vaccine?

you need some Zoloft, pig.

Anyone with something meaningful to communicate does.

Glad I’m not alone in this behavior.

It’s a personal choice to be offended.

PIG! GET A LIFE!

(Yes, I’m shouting. Really, Pig….)

What THE?!?!

Text next time

I avoid this problem by not expecting an immediate response