Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 24, 2017

Like your nose itches when you’re under the car changing oil.

if i was there, I’d sneeze like AH-CHOO-CHOO TRAIN!!

Like feeling the urge to cough at the clinic.

Which magically becomes impossible as soon as your doctor asks you to cough. We are contrary beasts aren’t we.

Willispate……Really? Seriously? You went there? Congratulations! Are you from Chattanooga?….

Or a public yawn??

A parking meter at a crosswalk?

Or any time any doctor asks you to relax.

This would work for yawns, too.

My sneezes are epic: I can set a car alarm off at 50 paces. I once sneezed in the office and a co-worker in the building across the parking lot sent me an email “God bless you.”

See Cul de Sac.

And do not think of dancing blue elephants. Simply don’t think of them.

Sniff? Sniff? Do I smell something funny?

My husband is about to have surgery this week and they told him to not sneeze or cough while he heals. Now we’re worried all he’s going to do is sneeze and cough. How can one hold in a sneeze?

How about “Do Not Look At This Sign”?

How to start sneezing conversation: just say excuse you. No, excuse you. without recusing yourself.

It’s a bit like “Unthink this” – “Think about nothing” or “Don’t think about a tiger”.

They’re afflicted with a very suggestible disease… and its nothing to sneeze at!